We’ve all heard and even experienced it time and time again. Someone gives you a back handed compliment and then grabs for and touches your natural hair without permission. But THIS, in my opinion, takes it to another level.
Comment below and tell me how you would’ve responded in this situation…
Actress Teyonah Parris, who starred in Dear White People and Mad Men, was out with friends when an old white man insults and violates her personal space.
Parris shared this encounter on Twitter.
Having tea at The Ritz w/beautiful brown folk. Old Man walks over boldly asks me "Is that yours or an add on?!"Clearly referring tomy hair.
— Teyonah Parris (@TeyonahParris) June 9, 2015
I firmly state "Sir, that's rude." And turn to finish enjoying my company. He continues w/ "I told the manager he should have the waitresses
— Teyonah Parris (@TeyonahParris) June 9, 2015
wear that hair bc it's stimulating." I say "Excuse me?" He says "I'm saying I like it." I reply "That's all you had to say. You like it."
— Teyonah Parris (@TeyonahParris) June 9, 2015
I turn back to my company to once again END this convo w/ my body language and this man grabs my hair- I swear to Goodness- as he says
— Teyonah Parris (@TeyonahParris) June 9, 2015
goes "He's trying to give you a compliment. C'mon Dad!" I'm dumbfounded and in shock. You have objectified, fetishized, attempted to demean,
— Teyonah Parris (@TeyonahParris) June 9, 2015
and a number of other things all in one quick exchange. The sad thing is after all of my explaining to him about how inappropriate he was-
— Teyonah Parris (@TeyonahParris) June 9, 2015
Im pretty sure he left as clueless as he arrived. Yup, it's 2015. There's levels to this type of #ignorance and #privilege.
— Teyonah Parris (@TeyonahParris) June 9, 2015
When people ask me about my hair I ask them if they would like to touch it. Honestly, I think you overreacted from the get go. I see a lot of women who wear wigs or clips to obtain the fro or natural look. In the world of weave, it was an appropriate question.
It’s still rude to go up and ask a complete stranger IMO.
Me too. I let ppl feel my hair. I don’t see the big deal. That nan tho, the way he said, ‘it’s stimulating’ is a bit worrying
Asking someone if their hair is an add-in when you have no personal connection to them is inappropriate and none of your business. When did it become okay? You don’t see people asking white women if all that hair is theirs! She had every right to be upset.
As for letting people touch your hair…would you let some random person touch your face or some other body part? Your hair is on your body and I would find it intrusive if they didn’t ask. But to each his own. I am not a pet.
I have experienced this more times than I care to remember. Whether I responded yes or no, politely or abrupt, with silence or with a question very seldom will people ever pay you the compliment and keep it moving. However I have found that more often than not, people are more apt to touch my hair when I engage them in conversation about it. Why can’t they treat your hair like a pair of Manolo’s or Jimmy Choo’s, admire or compliment then BYE!??
I think the way you handled it was very classy and appropriate because I would have slapped him when he touched me and violated my personal space.