In the Summer of 2006, I decided to grow my relaxer out or transition to natural hair. I usually went about 3 months without a relaxer so I figured I could go natural and look alright. So I transitioned for 5 months by wearing styles that masked the 2 or 3 different textures in my head such as roller sets, straighten with the flat iron and twist outs. The first 3 months were fairly easier. The 4th and 5th I started to notice a more visible difference between the 3-4 personalities in my head or hair types.
One night, I was watching “America’s Next Top Model” Cycle 7 the makeover episode. Jaeda’s makeover was one of the most dramatic. Her long bra strap hair was crop drastically to the short sexy Halle Berry cut. I loved it. She looked so gorgeous. So from there I said, “I’m going to do it, I’m going to cut my hair”. I finally had the nerve. I identified with Jaeda, we had similar lengths of hair and I related to her story. I too was always the “pretty girl with long hair”. I wanted a change. I needed to know who I was absence of what others said I was. Define my own beauty.
The next day I called my hairdresser who then informed me she was moving, I figured I need to get it over with sooner than later. I couldn’t let anyone else in my head with scissors.
I went to her apartment, so she could cut my hair. I wanted the Jaeda hairstyle. She made play sniffle sounds as she asked “are you sure about this? When I cut above the ear there’s no going back? I replied, “yeah do it!” I looked at long strands of hair as they fall to the floor and thought I could’ve donated that.
After she finished, she said “Girl, this stuff is curling up back here.” I said “let me see” I walk to the bathroom mirror. “Oh my God, it’s gone.” That was my response. “I look a hot mess. What did I do.” I was so terrified of my natural texture. It looked NOTHING like Jaeda’s cut. What was I going to do? Gentry, my stylist, smiling said: “well, you wanted to go natural”.
“But what am I going to do with this?” “I gotta run up the street to let my husband see?” If he doesn’t like it I’m going to perm it. Ben, my husband, didn’t know I was getting my hair cut that day. He worked at a school about 10 minutes away.
I called him from the car. “Please come outside,” I asked. He thought something was wrong. I was pouting and whining the words “Is it ok? ‘Cause if not I’ll relax it.”
“No bae, it’s ok; it’s kind of funky”, he reassured me.
Okay, my husband’s ok with it. I had to get a second opinion. I had to ask Mrs. Greenwood, a friend I knew that wouldn’t lie to me.
I hid behind the door as I told my husband to ask her to step into the hall. She was like “what’s wrong, are you ok?” Then she noticed “Oh! You cut your hair, It’s cute Ms. Tamara. You did it! You really did it!” was the response I got.
I love my husband and Mrs. Greenwood but I know they were lying to me but it made me feel more confident anyway.
Here’s a picture from the day after my BC. In photo: me and my husband, Ben. Oct. 2006
I wore a straw set to hide some of the straight relaxed pieces… I was too scared to go any shorter.
I’m so proud of my progress…
For those going natural, the unfamiliar is always scary at first. But everything God made is Good including your hair regardless of texture, grade and length…
I just did my big chop on Friday February 27 2015, it’s just sinking in like omg I really did this. I’m not good at styling my own hair so hopefully ill get some tips from here. I’m going to try crochet braids for the first time so hopefully this helps me forget the BC for a couple months lol. Thanks I your story was great it have me some hope:)
Kenechukwu Enebeli-OKPAKO says
super story gurrl…I think you are very down to earth and relatable. Thanks for sharing your pictures. I just stumbled on your blog,no one led me here. I did the BC December 2013 and I am a 4C. I am still learning and I hope to learn from you and I can not wait for my hair to long and full!!! woo!!!!