I’ve moved every 3 to 5 years for most of my life.
It started when I was about 2. My dad enlisted in the Navy.
His first duty station was Goose Creek, South Carolina then Italy. We moved back to the states where I finished elementary school in Millington, TN outside of Memphis. From there Pascagoula, MS for middle school and freshman year of high school. I graduated high school in North Chicago, IL which is not Northern Chicago at all. It’s actually about 45 mins outside of Chicago. I never understand what the hell below 0 was until my first winter there.
I immediately realized that I wasn’t made for the Midwest. I’m a southern girl to my heart. When applying for colleges, naturally the south was my first choice. I always wanted to live in the city where I was born, Houston, TX. I applied for early admission and was accepted into the University of Houston.
From North Chicago, my parents and I drove the 13+ hours to Houston, TX for student orientation and then for move-in day.
Although I was moving to various places around Houston Metro, I was still moving almost annually. My Ex-husband seemed to be afraid to leave his mom so we stayed in Texas longer than I would’ve liked.
But finally, after almost 10 years we moved to Las Vegas, NV. My almost two years there were some of my happiest up until that point. Las Vegas really represented new beginnings for me.
Las Vegas is where my business began to generate over 6-figures in revenue, I conceived and birthed my youngest child, and I started my Crossfit journey.
But also it became evident without a doubt that I was completely unhappy with my marriage. I remember getting to this place where I had accomplished so many things, individually. I bought a car and put 40% cash down of my own money. I’d created and ran a successful business on my own. I’d try to celebrate with him and share the things that excited me.
One day I was sharing some very exciting news with him. There was this lack of enthusiasm. I said “I’m trying to make you my best friend but you just don’t want to be.”
I wanted a partner and a best friend and I didn’t have one. I understand that not everyone is best friends with their spouse. But I desired an emotional intimacy that was not available in my marriage.
So, honestly, this isn’t even what this post was supposed to be about.
My oldest son, KinderBae was exhibiting a speech delay. His preschool in Las Vegas were the first to bring it to our attention. I starting scheduling appointment with specialists for the various evaluations or hops that you have to go through. He was evaluated by the school district where he was recommended for the special needs program.
Read here about my oldest son’s autism spectrum disorder journey.
It was a combination of his special needs and the Ex-Husband’s job promotion that lead to our decision to move to Norcross, GA. I wasn’t ready to leave my happy place, but my Ex insisted it was the only way he would be able to keep his job.
We moved to Norcross, GA on New Year’s Day 2016. I used to say this was the day my life began to fall apart but in actuality, it began to come together.
The very thing we tried to avoid by moving actually happened. My Ex-Husband loss his job, yet again. He could never seem to maintain a job longer than 2 or 3 years.
The stress of being the breadwinner, stay at home parent, and sole provider took a toll on me and our relationship.
There were a few sequences of events both prior and following his year-long unemployment that exacerbates the strain on the relationship.
You can read about some of them here.
One day I’ll talk in more detail about the infidelity.
Once again, I’m moving after 3 years of living in Norcross, GA. I’m completely starting over by selling everything I own. My boys will be spending summer break with their father while I temporarily relocate to Jacksonville, FL.
The one thing that I’m taking is my Bobby Brown Cassette tape: Don’t Be Cruel. Every step I take this album has been with me. I haven’t had a cassette player in years, but I keep it anyway. I mean it’s a classic, right?
This move is the last letting go. I’m physically, in addition to emotionally purging. Getting rid of the old to make room for the new.
~ Tamara
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