Unspoken Natural Rules!!!

April 11, 2011 By 36 Comments

down low men 475 thumb Unspoken Natural Rules!!!As you may or may not know, I got a blow out about a month ago.  See pictures here.  I straighten my hair for two reasons to check my grow out challenge progress and for a proper, even trim of my ends.  In sharing with my Facebook page, I was astonished by some of the negative comments in reference to temporarily straighten my hair.

One commenter writes “Hmmm just sounds like relapsing to look like “massa wife” to me. Sorry, not feeling the “straight” look at all.”

Another comment was “I thought we were promoting kinky, curly NATURAL hair?”

Does it make my hair any less natural if I choose to temporarily straighten on occasions?  Many women have chosen the natural alternative not as a “revolt against the man” or as some type of civil disobedience.  Many have opted for the natural choice for healthy hair.  As for myself, I love the versatility of my curls & great health of my hair.

For those, like me who choose to rebel against the natural rules; I embrace the right to choose how I want to wear me hair.  I will not be intimidated into others standards of beauty “natural or not”.  Natural is unique to the individual and freedom of expression.  Should we criticize any of our sisters because of the way they wear their hair?

Do you live by the natural rules? Or have you falling victim to the natural rules?

Filed Under: My Hair

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Comments

  1. PBG says:
    April 11, 2011 at 11:17 am
    I don’t apply any heat stronger than a warm blow out or a roller/rod set to my hair. Not for any reason other than I am terrified of heat damage. I warn others of heat damage, but I never take on a judgmental or accusatory tone with it. It’s all about personal goals and personal choice what one does with their own hair.
    Reply
  2. Shaquita says:
    April 11, 2011 at 11:24 am
    Your hair is your hair and my hair is my hair. That’s the problem with people always looking to put each other down whenever or however they can. Jealousy is not an acceptable color on anyone.
    Reply
  3. Ja says:
    April 11, 2011 at 11:33 am
    I love my hair straightened, blowed-out, kinky, curly and/ or wavy. Its an expression of me and I also love the versatility of being a natural. No one should be judgemental of how we wear OUR HAIR…. its OUR HAIR PERIOD…
    Reply
  4. Crystal says:
    April 11, 2011 at 11:45 am
    I agree!! Whenever I straighten my hair (to have my ends evenly trimmed) I feel black-listed by other naturals. I didn’t enter the “natural sisterhood” to revolt but because of the versatility it affords me. I think EVERY woman has the right to wear her hair however she chooses. So, i’ll take the eye rolls and judgemental looks because my NATURAL HAIR RULES, regardless of how it’s styled!!!
    Reply
  5. Shajan says:
    April 11, 2011 at 12:18 pm
    I think it’s a shame that anyone would make such harsh comments about what another person chooses to do with THEIR hair. We all have to be comfortable with ourselves first and that’s what matters most. I love my natural hair but I also loved my hair when I wore it straight. You’ll never get everyone to agree about anything concerning YOU. So why try???? The only approval you need is yours (and maybe your husband’s if you’re married) but that’s it. Kinky or straight…natural or processed…short or long…just make sure you’re happy with you. We really should stop trying to hold other people accountable for our “personal” opinions…there are no real rules to any of this, it’s all opinion and preference. And if no one asks you yours, maybe it’s better kept to yourself. And that’s just MY opinion :-) .
    Reply
  6. Sharon Alexander says:
    April 11, 2011 at 1:14 pm
    Everyone’s reason for going natural is different. I don’t see a problem with straightening your hair. I say EMBRACE THE VERSATILITY!!!!!!! Who cares what others think.
    Reply
  7. Tina says:
    April 11, 2011 at 1:16 pm
    Becoming natural was a healthy choice as well as having the freedom to do whatever I want with my hair. It’s your hair. If you want to wear it straight then do it. Healthy hair should be what’s important. You are not breaking some sister code if you straighten your hair. We should be free to do what we think is best for our hair without being ridicule for our choices. Do you girl and be happy with the freedom that we can wear our hair curly, straight, or however we want it and while maintaining the health of it.
    Reply
  8. Vickie s. says:
    April 11, 2011 at 1:27 pm
    Regardless, I say that your hair is still natural BECAUSE there are NO chemicals in it. Blowing it straight without having a relaxer to me is STILL natural hair no matter how you style it. Now if you had went back and put in a relaxer, then you would be going against the rules. NATURAL hair is the state of our hair in which we wer born, chemical free!
    Reply
  9. Blaquelorelei says:
    April 11, 2011 at 1:39 pm
    I never realized in years past that natural was such a big deal. Maybe I was naive, or maybe since it wasn’t popular noone said much about it. My mom taught me very early that hair is. That’s all, it just is. I went natural to change the energy in my life and to become more connected to my african ancestors. I loc’d for the same reason. I know many people now have various reasons for being natural and many have nothing to do with “roots.” Ultimately, you are only responsible to the god/dess in you – not anyone else’s opinion.
    Reply
  10. Indulgenceiskey says:
    April 11, 2011 at 1:45 pm
    Keep on Keeping on! All I want is healthy natural hair and to me that means however I choose to wear my hair i.e. kinky, curly, straight, black and/or brown, as long as it is healthy then I am pleased. We have to remember we are the ones who have to care for our own hair. We also have to remember that what works for my hair might not work for yours and leave it at that. If wearing my hair straight makes me happy then so be it. We are responsible for our own happiness. The same goes with the other rules about staying away from mineral oil, silicones, etc. If those items do your hair justice then use it to your dear diligence. We must not conform to what others think we should be or look like. That is why God made us all UNIQUE. Nobody is out there JUST like YOU. You are the only person like yourself. You are special. You are Unique and You are blessed.
    Reply
  11. Dominique says:
    April 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm
    WOW! I can’t believe that someone would make such a ridiculous and offensive comment. It’s yours to do with as you wish! I have never looked at straightening as not being natural, but to each his own. The way someone wears their hair shouldn’t cause such disrespect.
    Reply
  12. Your Cheeziness says:
    April 11, 2011 at 5:19 pm
    I do not live by so-callednatural hair rules. Just as you said, my reasons for wanting to go relaxer free is just a personal preference. I wouldn’t give those comments any more attention.
    Reply
  13. Melissa says:
    April 11, 2011 at 5:24 pm
    Last time I checked this was a free country and we are free to express ourselves however we choose. Judge not lest ye be judged is a phrase more people should learn to live by.
    Reply
  14. CocoaPuff Chanel says:
    April 11, 2011 at 6:10 pm
    I co-sign on there not being any real rules. Any decision I make is mine and mine alone. Forget the negativity that comes your way and just do you.
    Reply
  15. Monica says:
    April 11, 2011 at 6:35 pm
    I dont have a problem with people straigthening their hair, although I will never straigten mines again. I used to get blow outs when I wasn’t natural, and dealt with severe damage. I assumed the damage was from relaxer.. I have gotten one while I am natural and I am still dealing with breakage….all over again.
    Reply
  16. Bernadette says:
    April 12, 2011 at 2:05 am
    People can be so ignorant. I love being natural, but some of these naturals get on my nerves with all these rules lol. Its your hair you can do ever you want to it.
    Reply
  17. Mary Andrews says:
    April 12, 2011 at 2:12 am
    natural hair is just that, that simply means chemical free! how you where it is your choice, I like my hair all natural because it keeps my hair healthy and growing, and I wear my hair, straight, curly, twist etc….this whole black power, rebel against white people because we are embracing our natural hair is just ridiculous and childish!
    Reply
  18. Stephanie says:
    April 12, 2011 at 3:00 am
    I have seen some of the ugly comments made by die-hard naturalista’s on various blogs. The most troublesome one was a response to a young lady who was having trouble with her natural hair. She was accused of self-hatred and advised to seek therapy! The audacity!!! I believe in healthy hair, however you choose to wear it. I stopped relaxing only because of my need to dye my gray roots bi-weekly. I knew double processing my hair was going to kill it. My relaxed hair was long & healthy because I took care of it just like I do to my fabulous curls now. My 12yo daughter is relaxed now because that is what she wanted. We take good care of her hair and it is healthy. It bothers me that there are sisters out there that would hate on my baby’s hair because of how she wants to wear it. We are a beautiful and vibrant sisterhood and should respect each other as such!
    Reply
  19. Marilyn says:
    April 12, 2011 at 3:20 am
    Part of why I went natural was to get away from what others expected of me……..I won’t let anyone set “rules” for me nor will I even think that there are rules for another sistere………Do you, sistahs…..You may not be wearing your hair like I would or maybe you are – it’s all good….
    Reply
  20. Gg says:
    April 12, 2011 at 8:34 am
    I have been natural all my 24 years.
    Let me make is clear to you:
    If you want to straighten your hair…straighten your hair!!
    These natural nazis make me sick. Chill out already. Being natural is no chemicals in your hair…period. The beauty of bring natural is the versatility that comes with it. I can rock my curls one days and Rock straight hair the next.
    Natural Nazis please take and seat and go get a damn life. I love the natural hair movement but a lot of you all are ridiculous and pure extremists!
    Reply
  21. Qiana says:
    April 12, 2011 at 11:14 am
    Cracking up at Gg! Natural Hair Nazis LOL!! I agree. Do what you love! If you love it STRAIGHT… Rock It Straight! If you love it CURLY, COILY or KINKY… Rock It! Health and Happiness comes from within. We as women must stop tearing each other down. It’s not healthy.
    Reply
    • Tara says:
      April 12, 2011 at 2:11 pm
      I love some of the points being made. I once heard a guy say that by going natural, we were all just following a trend. Maybe there are a handful out there who went natural because “everyone else was doing it”, but whether someone came to their own realization or wanted to achieve beautiful healthy hair like the girl they saw on tv….I just think it’s beautiful that women are embracing their hair as God gave it to them…thick, curly, kinky, nappy…whatever you want to call it. My personal reason was because I would always go through this cycle where I’d cut my hair, it’d grow back pretty, the chemicals would damage it, it breaks off, and then I cut it again. And getting chemical burns twice in a row just confirmed this was best. My hair is soooo much softer. My natural color is even different. Plus it’s more versatile. So if saying no to chemical burn is a trend…that’s fine with me lol. I love my hair this way.
      Reply
  22. Alicia Cooper says:
    April 12, 2011 at 7:51 pm
    Like my mother told me and I apply this so simply toward my life is this: those people don’t know me so they easily judge another person that’s mean something wrong with them. I just leave my hair to up to myself. End of story.
    Reply
  23. Vanessa says:
    April 12, 2011 at 11:16 pm
    One thing I love about MY hair is that i can do what I want with it. I live in Houston so I don’t straighten it often because of the weather. If the humidity holds off I will have it done next week. It is all about how I feel and if I want to be bothered with “doing stuff” to it daily. Being natural affords me the FREEDOM of being FREE. Straighten if you want, just be careful. :) Natural 8 years….
    Reply
  24. Chicago Chica says:
    April 13, 2011 at 1:06 am
    If a natural sister wants to straighten her hair, it’s her choice. Judging her because she wants to change it up a bit is juvenile. You do you because in the end he/she won’t/doesn’t take care of your hair.
    Reply
  25. Laquita says:
    April 13, 2011 at 6:34 am
    I agree with the others the best part of wearing your hair natural is the versatility. I never understood why people feel the need to leave negative comments – if you don’t agree with something just move on.
    Reply
  26. Dominique-Alexis says:
    April 16, 2011 at 1:25 am
    It’s your hair. Go for it! Being natural is about loving and accepting your hair, no matter how you decide to style it.
    Reply
  27. gala says:
    April 28, 2011 at 4:21 pm
    well i dnt appl any heat unless i’m steaming n i dnt straighten it but it’s ur head girl. only u can do n say what u want to do with it
    Reply
  28. iya says:
    May 17, 2011 at 12:55 pm
    2 each its own , me personally will not go back to straighten my hair luv da kinkyness, in da past i have been more chemically , or had straighted hair most of my life , so i didnt know anything about my own natural hair ,I only been natural for seven years so i, think i will take this ride out to the wheels pop off!
    Reply
  29. Aladye says:
    June 17, 2011 at 10:47 am
    Well I have ppl w/ RELAXED hair do it to me…………. i love o good weave, since being natural i have straighten my own hair twice. And w/ every new weave or straighten some chick w/ relaxed hair says……. “Why you got that in your head you natural”
    Reply
  30. DBlkMoses says:
    June 24, 2011 at 12:16 pm
    I have ‘heataphobia’ so that’s why I don’t apply heat to mine; but to each her own!!! Looked at the pics and looks like you have a head full of HEALTHY HAIR…crack never could look that good! Black folk need to work on unity instead of the Willie Lynch methods that continue to separate us!!!
    Reply
  31. Patricia says:
    June 27, 2011 at 3:42 pm
    I agree. I myself wear braids mostly, but also love to wear my hair straight or in a soft blown out afro. I too have had women of natural curls and kinks say I’m in denial because I straighten, but also because I wear braids, which means synthetic hair braided into mine. I think us as women really, REALLY, need to stop finding reasons to talk about and down each other!!!! I go to the mens section of the gym even, ya know why? cause men go to work out, women go to talk about all the other women and as a large woman, I got sick of the negative comments from other women, in the mens section, I can work out in peace, or have adult conversation with the men about the weather, news, or workout techniques. Lets stop this petty behavior ladies, its nonsense!
    Reply
  32. Dawn says:
    October 25, 2011 at 1:35 pm
    I went natural because I wanted to and I wasnt aware of any rules for natural hair. This is not a secret society or a social club, its a way of life Ive chosen for myself. I could care less what someone else does with their hair. The only time I pause is if some natural hair radical sister starts talking about taking it back to Africa then the next time her see her shes got blond shoulder length weave with blue contacts. No, you invited me to put you on blast as a poser.
    Reply
  33. imani says:
    October 27, 2011 at 1:11 am
    I went natural bc I realized i was harming my hair and it was really starting 2 show.No one should define ur reasons or sincerity for going natural.Its sad that no other race has such a stigma on their hair except us so when we go natural or for some, never chem alter our hair,its a BIG deal to some….So much that they create rules that are no less confining and hurtful than when some felt they HAD 2 have chem straight hair. Now someone wants 2 tell me what i can do with my natural hair too? I dont straighten not bc its a RULE but bc when I did i lost some of my curl definition & it took 2 long for it too snap back.THAT is my reason, not bc theres a bible on natural hair that says I cant.I would DARE someone 2 say im less than natural bc i temp straighten my hair! The hair issue isnt really abt STRAIGHT hair, its abt the perception that anything other than straight is unaccecptable or less than desirable/beautiful. I defy that definition…NOT the right of a another woman to straigten her hair. Straight hair is not the enemy so stop making it out to be villian! It doesnt mean i Iong 2 be causian. I means i like the style options that come with straight hair, just like there r curly/natural options i love that u can NOT get with straight hair.How great is it to be natural and be able to go btwn the 2 whenever I choose? Thats something 2 brag abt…not hate on!
    Reply
  34. Nibb says:
    November 26, 2011 at 2:26 pm
    Another more disturbing undercurrent than this one is the unspoken hierarchy of hair textures which still creates higher and lower classes of hair types WITHIN the natural hair range of types.

    The marketing, images, aspirations and reactions/comments within the community still – often by subtle suggestion alone – place the looser curled or mixed-race type hair at the top of an invisible pyramid. Hair sites for natural hair are often dominated by such images. They are the new white standards of beauty to be aspired to and admired. Admiration for these sisters would be fine if it wasnt to the detriment of true inclusion and equality.

    Not sure if anyone else out there feels this but Im becoming uncomfortable more and more aware of it the more forums/sites/etc I visit.

    Reply

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