Yup, I had my own bout with hair envy back in my second year of rocking my natural. While watching numerous YouTube videos for inspiration, I decided to check in on one of my faves. I knew that we big chopped around the same time but, somehow, her hair was way longer than mine within two years! My heart sank. I tried to shake it but, yeah… it bothered me. UGH! “How is this possible?” I thought.
Well, I went through a series of stages to get over this hair envy hump and I’m gonna share them with you!
From my experience, it all starts even before the big chop. While I did have feelings of hair envy, it was short-lived. I honestly believe it’s due to the fact that, going in, I was totally cool with whatever my hair was gonna do and look like once I cut off my relaxer. If you begin on the road to naturalhood with a realistic view and positive attitude, there’s less chance that you’ll be disappointed when those curls, kinks or coils start to sprout.
Learn Your Hair and Love It!
My husband always says, “You’d be a lot happier if you are happy with what you have”. Makes sense! I don’t have a degree in psychology but, in general, if you love what YOU have, even if what the other person has may be perceived by others as “better”, it won’t faze you. You can never be accused of having hair envy because you know that what you have is just as awesome! Once you begin to play around with your hair and learn all the cool stuff it can do, you will rock it and you will love it! In turn, when you love something and hold it dear to you, you’ll do everything in your power to take as best care of it as possible. That’s where you reap the benefits of growing hair that is, above all, healthy!
A Change in Perspective
We sometimes become so obsessed with the gorgeous results we see on social media that we don’t think much about the process. Even if you think your hair closely resembles another’s, growth rate will not be identical. There are so many reasons why a person’s hair may seem to grow much faster than our own- genetics, lifestyle, diet, hair routine, etc. Once you acknowledge that, you can be at ease and hair envy won’t even become part of your vocabulary!
Reexamine and Make Adjustments as Needed
Again, don’t get so hung up on the now… the results. Many of these women have managed to achieve beautiful, bountiful hair through a consistent regimen that they have developed over time that works for them. Let that be your inspiration. When I really thought about it, I realized that I could have taken better care of my hair in that period of time and needed to make some adjustments. Without mimicking her routine exactly, I took some notes from this particular vlogger and thought about my own lifestyle and how I could tweak some things to fit ME. I urge you to do the same.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
If all else fails, you may just have to ease up on scrolling through that Instagram feed or watching hours of natural hair videos on YouTube. You can’t have hair envy if there’s no one to envy, right?! All that time you’d normally spend on social media will be better spent adoring, loving and taking care of your own, beautiful hair.
Being overly concerned with how much your hair doesn’t look like someone else’s or what it can’t do is super stressful which is no bueno for your overall health and that means your hair too! Yes… the more you stress, it can and will affect your hair. How’s that for irony?! Instead, love all the things your hair CAN do. Be happy with what you have and you’ll be well on your way to a healthy relationship with your hair!